I’ve followed a few authors on twitter the other day, and almost every single one sent me an automated message asking me to check their book.

Seriously, I must’ve gotten some ten auto direct messages in a day.

One of them even said, “Sorry for the spam, but if you have a second, could you please check my book?”

I’m sorry, but I’m one to believe that you shouldn’t apologize for spam: Just don’t use it.

So I decided to be a do-gooder and sent a message to said author. He replied claiming it generated TONS of sales to him.

Remember when you were fifteen and your friends mocked you because you were still a virgin, and you said, “I’m totally not, in fact I have seen loads of penises!”

“Oh yeah?” Britney asked. “And what color are they, stupid virgin?”

“Hmm, green?”

Yeah. That was exactly like that.

I was super nice and told him, “Good for you,” and then we parted ways. But I highly doubt he makes TONS of sales with auto DMs.

Look, every respectable self-publishing venue advises against it. It’s a simple logic: Your auto message is spam.

Do you like spam? Of course you don’t. You know who also doesn’t like spam?

EVERYONE ELSE.

*Drops mike and leaves*