It’s 2065 and Shit Happens

by | Jan 25, 2016 | Fun, Lifestyle, Things I saw on the Internet, Uncategorized, Writing, Writing craft | 15 comments

Pretend it’s 2065 and you’re telling some random kids on the street that, “When I was your age, me and my bitches literally drank an entire keg of beer on our own. It was awesome, you guys.”

And one kid rolls his eyes and says, “No one says ‘you guys’ anymore. By Saturn’s rings, lady, you’re so old.”

And you’re like, “OMG, I’m totally NOT old.”

“Lady, no one says ‘OMG’ and ‘totally’ anymore.”

And you’re all like, “Shut up, random kid. You’re stupid.”

And the kid rolls his eyes for the umpteenth time and says, “That’s real smart, Tutankhamen.”

And then you look to the sides, sweat beading on your forehead, and you let out a painfully embarrassing, “Wazzuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup?”

<img class="aligncenter" src="https://i2.wp linked here.com/commercialsociety.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/bud-wassup.jpg?resize=225%2C225&ssl=1″ alt=”” data-recalc-dims=”1″ />

And then the kid just walks away.
…

…
Yes. The future is grim and dark.

15 Comments

  1. thatscribbler
    thatscribbler on January 25, 2016 at 4:56 pm

    This is exactly why I hate future! Aarggghhhh!

    • C.S. Wilde
      C.S. Wilde on January 25, 2016 at 4:58 pm

      The future sucks monkey balls!

  2. djmorand
    djmorand on January 25, 2016 at 5:11 pm

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA. I actually can’t wait for the future when I can say something completely random like “dude that is so dope, you don’t even know, I can’t even.” and just watch their dumbfounded face.

    • C.S. Wilde
      C.S. Wilde on January 25, 2016 at 5:17 pm

      Right? That would be awesome. Totes.

  3. The WordSmithe
    The WordSmithe on January 25, 2016 at 5:12 pm

    Ah, but if the really old lady in the future vaporizes the random kid on the spot for being so rude? It could happen…

    • C.S. Wilde
      C.S. Wilde on January 25, 2016 at 5:17 pm

      Oooooh phaser gun, nice addition!

  4. The V-Pub
    The V-Pub on January 25, 2016 at 5:55 pm

    I’d set my phaser to stun and teach that punk a lesson. 😀

  5. The Opening Sentence
    The Opening Sentence on January 25, 2016 at 6:14 pm

    And the kid goes home and says to his dad, “I just met Mom and she’s pissed again. She found the antique keg of beer.”

  6. budgiesntiels
    budgiesntiels on January 25, 2016 at 8:23 pm

    That is exactly what happens to me when I quote my favorite movies, like pretty in pink, from my youth. I just get blank stares or some punk kid says I have never seen it. The future is now. Can I get a phaser?

    • C.S. Wilde
      C.S. Wilde on January 25, 2016 at 8:45 pm

      lol yes you can. Here you go *hands you phaser*

      • budgiesntiels
        budgiesntiels on January 25, 2016 at 9:19 pm

        Thank you so much!!! I am off to teach those little jerks a lesson.

  7. Mike
    Mike on January 25, 2016 at 8:30 pm

    The future may be worth living for if kids really do say “By Saturn’s rings.” I could go for that.

  8. Nancy V
    Nancy V on January 26, 2016 at 12:37 am

    That’s donkey balls and I love it!!

  9. garym6059
    garym6059 on January 29, 2016 at 5:36 pm

    By Saturn’s Rings love it! Maybe history will repeat itself and the kids will being saying that’s rad while wearing their Member’s Only jackets!

  10. Felicia
    Felicia on February 9, 2016 at 8:03 am

    Guess no one will be saying, “Gag me with a spoon” in 2065. Oh wait…they’re not saying it now. *REALLY showing my age*

    Thanks for stopping by my place. I’ll be back – love the snark!